The road to inner peace

The journey to inner peace is not an easy one, but certainly one that is possible.

I’ve experienced inner peace, at multiple moments in my life. My latest inner peace moment filled me with a wave of happiness, hope and relief. 

I have been working for years on myself, going through ups and downs. I had periods of great clarities, and others where I’ve felt lost and disconnected. 

I always knew that inner peace was attainable. I could witness it in some people that surrounded me, close or afar, that truly exuded this magical aura. I was attracted to that inner beauty, and every time I would witness it, it reminded me that this is what I was working for.

Yes I got lost on the track a few times, but now I know that getting lost was my soul telling, with a figurative baseball bat to the forehead, ‘Hey girl, time for you to stop ignoring all the signs I’ve been sending you, and put in the work to solve those inner conflicts! »

It’s amazing how much I would be fighting it, and hoping that something or someone else would find the answer. I mean, for the sake of god, who would put themselves through those hoops of self reflections and soul searching. I would must rather entertain myself, and try to numb this pain away.

That can work for a while, but it would always catch up to me.

This time is different though, I’m pretty sure I found the magic tools to access the magic inner peace treasure box! For me, a visual person, I’ve realized that to write down my thoughts, and to perhaps repeat writing the positives thoughts that I am trying to change, is like rewriting my story in my own book. It’s telling my brain, who’s really powerful and is driving the wrong messaging on the wrong track, that this is the new and real story. I’ve tried meditation, but it’s not powerful enough, especially if I need to turn this book from a triller to an easy read comedy. 

I’ve also come to learn, by doing the work, who I want to be, and how I can achieve it. 

An authentic, self loving, funny, trusting and compassionate person. I also know how I operate best; keeping things simple, let my intuition guide me, and trust that my inspiration will take me to the right place. In a nut shell, trust myself.

In order to do that, I need to accept myself and others for who they are, and stop expecting that people know how to meet my expectations. I also need to be kind to myself, and listen to my needs. Only if my needs are met, my soul can vibrate like I know it can!

I also know that my vulnerability is part of what makes me great. It’s funny this week, as I got flowers delivered to my place from my mom, dad and sister for women’s international day. I was overcome with emotions. As Luc, my husband, tried to take a picture of me as I sobbed, my reflex was to get my shit together first, before he took the picture and certainly before I called to thank them. As I tried to composed myself, I realized in that moment, that I didn’t have to do that. I ran upstairs, FaceTimed my parents, and thanked them as I balled away. Instead of fighting it, I was filled with love and acceptance! Not from them, because I always knew they loved me. Acceptance and love for myself, and that I am more than enough and didn’t need to « keep it together » for them. To be vulnerable, is to surrender to yourself with compassion and love.

As I write this, a scene from the movie « Eat, Pray, Love » comes to mind, when Richard from Texas is looking at Liz Gilbert, and tells her « If you could clear that mind of yours, you’d have a vacuum, with a doorway! You know what the universe would do with that doorway? Rush in, God Rush in! And fill you with more love than you can dream of! » I understand now! 

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