Connections and Loneliness.

Tonight is the first night of my trip where I am on my own. As I was siting down for supper, enjoying  the great food and view, I was trying to figure out the emotions that I was feeling at the time.

I find sometimes, it is really hard to figure out what your body really feels, really needs or what it is really going after.

I was observing the crowd around me at the restaurant, and I could see I was probably the only person sitting alone. Not that it bothered me one bit, but it got me thinking of what is life really all about.

Personally, I strive on meeting people, talking with them, exchanding ideas, knowledge, etc. I used to talk to people just to talk to them, but I have seen myself lately, choosing not to say anything, unless I really wanted to. I feel that I am looking for more than just a simple conversation about the weather, I am looking for something meaningfull, a connection.

So as I was making my observations, I could see that some of the folks that were sitting around me had different kind of interactions. Some family members that had not seen each other in a long while, into discussion about life and most likely adventures from the past, remembering the good old days. Others, like a couple that was sitting next to me were eating in silence, not really saying much to each other. Perhaps this is just how they liked to be with each other, able to enjoy some moments of quietness, just enjoying each others presence. 

So as I was sitting there, I did miss people. People that could be my hudband, family or friends. This thing about spending time by myself is something really new to me, and I still find myself trying to really understand what it is all about, and what I am really after of this whole journey. 

Today was were rubber did hit the road, and the reality of this trip is really settling in. Yes I felt alone for a little while, but learning how to be by myself is ok, is part of this journey that I am going through about really knowing myself, about knowing what I want to be and what I want to become.

Thanks to Megan for recommending eating at Cactus Club Cafe near English Bay, beautiful view, perfect place to ground myself, and think about life.

Cheers!

Veronique


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