Caught in the Spinning Wheel of Drama

I got caught today, in the drama wheel. I was faced with a situation that I had seen before, with an individual that I knew what prompt for creating drama but I still walked into the trapped.

I activated myself and started working towards resolving the situation, with a lot of stress and anxiety. It took almost 4 hours of my day, and I ended up spending a lot of time spinning my wheels, trying to come out with a solution. In the end, it probably wasn't necessary and would have probably ended with the same result if I didn't get involved and didn't stress out about it.

After everything was done, the stress started to evaporate, leaving behind a mix of emotions and leaving me in tears.

I had feelings of frustration because the person who started the "crisis" didn't need to do so. Frustration because all the people involved were trying to do the right thing and in the end, there wasn't much more that could be done. Frustration because I took everything so personal, when really it was not about me. 

I was also so angry at myself, for getting trapped in the wheel of drama, because it is something that I have been working on for quite some time now, and I should have known better.

It took me a moment to calm down and see the light in the whole situation.

The good thing about this whole situation, is right after it was all said and done, I was aware of what I was feeling. If this would have happened to me 10 years ago, I would have kept everything inside and re-lived the situation over and over in my head, without really coming to terms with my own feelings.

I am very thankful for the transformation that has happened to me over the last few years. Not that I won't get caught in drama ever. I mean, we all have our days where all hell will brake loose and the shit will hit the fan and we'll ourselves spinning our wheels into the drama. At least now, I will come out of it aware of what just went down and how I am feeling and be able to forgive myself for bring myself down and thinking less of me and the great intentions I have.

Really today was a growth opportunity, and will allow me to help others that will go through the same situation. It will allow me to show them that it's ok to be vulnerable, and to breakdown. Really what matters is that we come out stronger and better equipped  for the future.

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