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Showing posts from August, 2013

Connections and Loneliness.

Tonight is the first night of my trip where I am on my own. As I was siting down for supper, enjoying  the great food and view, I was trying to figure out the emotions that I was feeling at the time. I find sometimes, it is really hard to figure out what your body really feels, really needs or what it is really going after. I was observing the crowd around me at the restaurant, and I could see I was probably the only person sitting alone. Not that it bothered me one bit, but it got me thinking of what is life really all about. Personally, I strive on meeting people, talking with them, exchanding ideas, knowledge, etc. I used to talk to people just to talk to them, but I have seen myself lately, choosing not to say anything, unless I really wanted to. I feel that I am looking for more than just a simple conversation about the weather, I am looking for something meaningfull, a connection. So as I was making my observations, I could see that some of the folks that were...

Pace and Patience, Life to come

Saturday August 24; One month and one day after I have lost my position, as I sit here tonight, less than a week before I leave on my trip, I am at peace with myself. I am at peace with what has brought my way, the challenges, the people and most of all, the gifts. The gift of time, the gift of learning and the gift of all those people that I got to exchange with. Passion, intelligence and knowledge all those people have brought into my life. Not because I was looking for it, but because I open myself up to them. I appreciate all that life has given me in the last year, and I am trying to get the most out of everything. Make sure that my brain and my soul knows that this is about myself, in this moment in time. I have the right opportunity to make the choices that will affect the rest of myself and that will shape me to because the women and I have to be. Dream to the maximum, take advantage of every situation, nevertheless how simple they seam to be. Breath in and breath out, open...

Open Road of Life: 082913-091413

As I start to do my final preparation for my trip, some are still concerned and worried about the whole experience.  Although I have explain quite a bit, not everyone sees the real purpose of the trip I am about to undertake. I have been explaining that I need time for myself. It can probably sound selfish to a lot of people, or that perhaps I am running away from things, responsibilities, problems.  I found this quote online that I think can explain this best.    “Not all those who wander are lost.” ~J.R.R. Tolkien Yes I need this journey or time away from expectations, people, to find myself. Not that I am lost. I was lost last winter for 3-4 months, not really knowing who I was anymore. But the fact is, I did not know who I was before I reached that point. The best way I can describe it, and I have talked about this in great details with my therapist, is that I am finally aware. Before the my life changing experience of last winter, I was living my ...

Trip Across Canada

That's it! It is booked! My flight to Vancouver leaves on August 29th. I am really excited for this journey. I understand that some people have some reservations as to why I need to go away, why so far and why so long. To be honest, I haven't come up with all the reasons yet, I don't really think that I need to. I just know that at this moment in time and in my life, it is the right thing to do. It is the thing that will enable me to decide what I want for the next few years of my life and help me clear my thoughts as to all the things that have happened over the last 10 months. Craziness is the word that I have been using to describe the events of the last few months. It was like raising from the ashes, not knowing myself before and being born again, as a new and better person. I know some people of my entourage are still trying to figure if that person is really good or bad, and it brings a lot of frustration from them. I understand it is difficult, because for myself...

Evolving Time, Changing Life, Channeling Energies....

When you feel low, when you feel blue, when you think that nothing will ever work out, there is always hope. I have been to a place, where I thought I would never see the light again. I was praying that someone or something would take care of it, so I wouldn’t have to deal with it. Pain I was feeling, to some degree that I had never experienced before.  I was able to go through this hard journey and make it out in better shape. And yet today, life is showing signs that things are changing and that the world is evolving.  -------- Life is throwing me another curve ball, 9 months after I have crashed and burned. This journey that began last October, has now taken another turn on the road ahead.  Even if my eyes were wide opened, I never really saw this one coming. I was ready to accept anything, having already made peace with all of it. I knew that this journey was going to come to an end, little did I know it wasn’t going to be on my own terms.  ...